It's My Party (I'll Have Fun if I Want To)
by dysprositos
Summary: Clint has the best idea for a prank ever. Natasha, as usual, ruins his fun. And Thor bakes a cake.


**Thanks, as always, to my beta, bequirk. (Oh man I remembered to put the right pen name, I'm awesome.)**

**I took liberties with Natasha's birthday; given how little we know about her in MCU, it seemed okay.**

**Warnings: crack-ish Thor, scheming, cheesiness.**

* * *

"Tomorrow," Clint Barton said conspiratorially, "Is Natasha's birthday."

It actually wasn't. Natasha's birthday was at the end of October, had been almost two months ago. She and Clint had gone out to dinner, and Clint had even tolerated Natasha's restaurant choice without complaint, which was a first. Honestly, did she _have _to pick the most Russian Russian restaurant in New York?

No, that was all in the past. Which made this even funnier.

Basically, Clint wanted to prank Nat. No mean feat, given her skill set, but he had the best idea ever. And while he hadn't managed to pull a prank on her in the decade of their acquaintance, he wasn't going to stop trying.

Clint's plan was this: Natasha hated parties, he knew from years of her complaining when she had to infiltrate them. And she hated surprises. So a surprise birthday party would be the most awesome prank ever.

Which would have been pretty funny on its own. Added to the fact he was going to rope the rest of the team into playing along, that made it _hilarious_.

The best part was, Natasha wouldn't see it coming, because it wasn't her birthday.

The plan was flawless. Genius, even.

"So?" Tony asked, leaning against the kitchen counter and watching coffee drip into the coffee pot. "Is this relevant?"

Clint huffed in annoyance. Apparently Tony's fear of—er, healthy respect for—Natasha was going to keep him from taking the bait. He decided to be a bit more obvious. "Well, I thought it would be nice if we could, you know, throw her a little party."

Tony glanced up from the coffee pot. "A party? For Romanoff? Does she even_ like_ parties?"

"Loves them," Clint said with a grin. "And she was telling me a few weeks ago that she's actually always wanted a surprise party."

For a second, Clint worried he'd laid it on too thick—Tony raised an incredulous eyebrow. But then he shrugged. "I mean, if you say so." He cocked his head to one side. "I can get my planner on it, she can probably whip something together—"

That wouldn't work; if Tony told anyone about this, Nat would hear about it. "No," Clint interrupted. "I think it would mean more if we did the planning. You know, make it more special."

Tony rolled his eyes but shrugged again. It seemed like the early morning hour had rendered him both agreeable and unquestioning, which was what Clint had hoped to accomplish by approaching him now. Bleary-eyed, Tony went back to his coffee. "Fine. What do you want?"

"Well..." Clint started, pulling a list out of his pocket. "Just a few things. You can get the food."

Tony groaned. "Can I at least invite Pepper?"

"The more the merrier," Clint chirped, pleased.

* * *

"Natasha doesn't seem like the surprise party type," Bruce mused. "But then, I might just be projecting." He peered over his glasses at his computer screen, typing absently. "Tomorrow, you said?"

"Yeah," Clint affirmed, trying not to grin. "Sorry for the short notice, but you know how busy we've been."

It was true. Clint and Natasha spent a lot of time at SHIELD, splitting their time between them and the Avengers. They didn't have a lot of down time.

Bruce nodded. "And you want me to do what, exactly?"

"Well," Clint said, "I've already got Tony working on food, but I could use someone to decorate."

Bruce pressed his lips together, but he nodded again. "Okay, sure. Um. What sort of theme were you thinking?"

Ah, Clint could always count on Bruce to ask the perfect questions. "I was thinking sort of a tropical beach theme. You know, try to combat the New York winter, have a luau, that kind of thing? We could have it down in the pool room, make it a pool party."

Bruce frowned at that, so Clint added, "Natasha loves swimming."

Which wasn't exactly true. Natasha _could _swim but had never shown any particular joy in doing so. But the idea of an Avengers pool party was too good to pass up. Bathing suits? Drowned-rat wet hair? Clint thought it would be great.

And besides, Clint loved pool parties, at least, in theory (as he'd never actually had one) and that was what mattered.

With a sigh, Bruce nodded. "Fine. I'll see what I can do."

Clint could have cheered.

"It is Natasha's name day?" Thor asked, bounding towards the door of his quarters. "I must send her my felicitations!"

"Tomorrow," Clint corrected hastily, assuming that 'name day' was a weird, archaic term for 'birthday.' He couldn't let Thor's enthusiasm ruin this awesome surprise.

"I see," Thor said, stopping short. "What is the Midgardian custom for such an auspicious occasion? Shall we feast? Do you require me to lead a hunting party?"

Clint wondered, briefly, what a hunting party in Manhattan might turn up. Probably the world's largest sewer rat. Shaking his head, he said, "Uh...no, that's not gonna be necessary. No, what I need from you is, well, on Midgard, we usually have cake to celebrate our birthdays." He looked up at Thor, trying to determine if 'cake' was a familiar term to the Asgardian.

Apparently it was, because Thor beamed. "Very good! A rich and succulent treat indeed!" Then he paused. "What do you require of me, friend Barton?"

"I need you to bake one," Clint said frankly, trying very hard not to laugh at the mental image this was conjuring up for him. Thor in a frilly pink apron, slaving over a stove, hair in a hair net.

"I see," Thor said, deflating somewhat. "I am not knowledgeable in this art of 'baking,' Barton."

Luckily, Clint had been prepared for this, so he reached down into the paper bag at his feet, pulling out a box. He held it out and Thor took it somewhat reluctantly.

"Follow the instructions on the box," Clint said, "And you should be good to go." He bent down and pulled out the can of frosting he'd bought. "And then put this on once it's cooled." It was a chocolate cake with pink frosting (which came with sprinkles), the strangest combination Clint had been able to come up with.

Thor looked at the cake and frosting in his huge hands and then grinned. "I will do my best to complete my part in Natasha's name day celebration honorably!"

Clint hadn't figured Thor would be very hard to convince.

* * *

"I don't know, Clint," Steve hedged. "Don't you think it'd be better if you went?"

Steve, predictably, was the hardest one to get on board. For one, he'd been really suspicious of the whole surprise party thing, because he didn't think Natasha seemed like the surprise party type. He was, of course, absolutely right, but it was inconvenient that Steve wasn't willing to go along with this as easily as the others had.

And now he was questioning Clint's judgment.

"Steve," Clint started, "I'm going to be busy all day tomorrow with SHIELD. I don't have time. Besides, I trust you."

"But I don't think I really know Natasha well enough to pick something like that out," Steve replied.

"I'm not asking you to buy her...lingerie or something, Steve," Clint said, trying not to laugh at how Steve was blushing. "I just said 'a nice birthday present.'" Honestly, he was giving Steve the easiest job because conning Steve Rogers felt kind of slimy and wrong. "Hell, get her a gun or something. A knife set. She'd love that." He slapped a wad of cash down on Steve's kitchen table. Since Tony had given him (or, more accurately, forced him to take) a credit card—emblazoned with the Avengers logo, no less—Clint had only been using his pay from SHIELD to fund his late night burrito runs, and this seemed like a somewhat better use for the money. "Go crazy."

Clint figured if he was going to entertain himself at Nat's expense, she should, at the very least, get something nice out of it.

He thought he was being considerate.

Steve furrowed his eyebrows, but he reluctantly agreed, "Okay. Yeah, I can do that. What time's the party?"

"Tomorrow night at 9:00," Clint answered, dancing internally. "I'll get her down to the pool room, don't worry about it."

Steve nodded. "Okay. I'll check in with Tony, Bruce, and Thor early tomorrow, make sure everything's going according to plan."

Clint grinned. Things were _definitely _going according to plan.

* * *

"Clint," Natasha said, her patient tone edged with steel. "What the hell are we doing?"

"We're going to swim some laps," Clint said, grinning as he led Natasha to the elevator. Surprisingly, it had been fairly easy to convince Natasha to get changed and head down to the pool with him.

She sighed.

There was a lull in the conversation as they got on the elevator and Clint hit the button for the floor with the pool.

It was broken by Natasha. "Does this have anything to do with the 'birthday' party you conned Stark, Thor, Banner, and Rogers into throwing for me?"

Clint whipped around to face Natasha. "What—how did you—who told you?"

Natasha smirked. "Like I need those guys to 'tell' me when something's going on, Clint, honestly." She paused, then admitted, "Pepper gave me a heads up."

"But—but—" Clint sputtered, dismayed. Pepper, of course. She _would _be that considerate.

Ugh. All his careful planning, and for what?

Part of him knew, of course, that trying to pull something over on one of the best spies, if not _the _best spy in the world was going to be next to impossible, but damn it, he'd been careful!

"Sorry, Clint, but you're going to have to try harder next time." She patted his shoulder in a distinctly condescending way.

Clint sighed. "Noted." Then, "Can you at least act like you didn't figure it out, though? You'll hurt Thor's feelings; he was so excited to celebrate your 'name day.'"

Natasha considered. "For a price, sure."

"What do you want?"

"I don't know yet," Natasha said. "I'll let you know when I do. So, we on?"

Clint frowned. He knew better than to accept a deal like that (Natasha was _ruthless_), but damn it, he'd worked hard on this, and he wanted to reap at least some reward. Conning the other Avengers wasn't as satisfying as conning Nat, but he'd take it. He wanted to see their faces when they figured out that he'd pulled one over on them. "Fine."

The rest of the elevator ride was silent.

* * *

"SURPRISE!"

For only being yelled by five people (Tony, Bruce, Steve, Thor, and Pepper) the cheer was surprisingly loud.

The lights flared to life, and Clint got a good look at the preparations his teammates had made.

The whole room was decked out in pink, green, and gold streamers and balloons, fake palm trees, and huge tropical flowers. It looked like Bruce had spent hours down here decorating. And the decor wasn't limited to the room, either—Steve, Tony, Bruce, and Thor were all wearing leis over their swim trunks and t-shirts, and Pepper was wearing a bright tropical-themed wrap over her bathing suit. On a table against one wall was a veritable feast of tropically-themed food, and one bright pink (and somewhat lopsided) cake. Another table held not just the one present Clint had commissioned Steve to get, but a whole stack of them.

Natasha, true to her promise, seemed surprised.

At least, she blinked twice, slowly, and then asked, "What the hell?"

"Happy birthday, Natasha!" Thor boomed exuberantly, striding forward and pulling Natasha into a tight hug, lifting her off the ground in his enthusiasm.

Clint chuckled. Served her right for ruining his fun.

Thor set Natasha down gingerly and stepped back. Natasha blinked again, this time looking around the room, at the decorations, at the presents, at the food.

And then she smiled.

Actually smiled, a full-on genuine smile. Not a smirk, or a half-smile, either. An actual smile.

Natasha looked up at Thor, and, still smiling, said, "Thank you!" Then she turned to the rest of the group. "This is...really something." She looked around again, taking in the room. "I love the decorations. And the food looks fantastic. Did one of you bake me a cake?"

"Indeed!" Thor said. "It was I!"

Natasha nodded slowly. "It's all amazing."

Clint's mouth fell open. He couldn't believe it. Natasha—who hated parties, who hated _surprises_, who _wasn't even having a birthday_—liked her surprise birthday party.

This was the worst prank _ever_.

"Nat," Clint said slowly, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

She turned to face him, eyes narrowed ever so slightly, dangerously. The warning was clear—_don't say a word_.

"Of course not," Natasha said. "This is...really nice. I've never had a surprise party before." She looked at the table with the presents. "Are those all for me?"

"Yeah," Tony said, striding forward. "Captain Boyscout invited us out on his shopping spree and we might've gone a little overboard." He turned to Clint. "You know, I thought you were shitting me when you said she wanted a surprise party."

"Yeah," Clint muttered, "So did I."

No one was paying any attention to him, though, as they were too busy herding Natasha over to the giant pile of presents.

As it turned out, the others had gotten her a new knife set _and _a new gun, as well as all kinds of other stuff that had her smiling and laughing as she unwrapped her gifts.

Then everyone dug into the food, which was, Clint had to admit, fantastic. The cake was somewhat less fantastic—clearly Thor's first effort—but Natasha ate two pieces.

After they'd eaten, a few of them (Tony and Bruce decided to pass) hopped in the pool for a game of Marco Polo that turned into Pepper and Natasha riding on Steve and Thor's shoulders and attempting to dunk Clint.

After a few hours, when everyone seemed about ready to pass out, Natasha said good night to everyone and, promising to come back for her loot in the morning, headed back towards her rooms, wrapped in a fluffy white towel.

She gestured for Clint to follow, and he did because he wanted to know what the _fuck _had just happened. He'd intended this as a practical joke, but it had...it had...turned into a party!

As soon as they were back in the elevator, Nat turned to Clint. "If you tell any of them that my birthday is in October, I'll castrate you."

And then she took the pink lei around her neck off and dropped it over Clint's head. With a smile, she said, "I've kind of always wanted a surprise party."

Clint sighed.

Typical.

Well, this was probably what he deserved for trying to pull one over on _the _Natasha Romanoff.

* * *

**Thanks for reading.**

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